it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
