maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
