I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
