So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
