If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
