Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
