Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
