Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
