no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
