Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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