Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
