we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
