Having a random hookup so left but love u
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
