And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
