Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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