Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
