I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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