Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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