You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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