Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
