One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
