i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i out mim tonsoeep
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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