I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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