I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
