hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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