plz talk dirty to me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
