Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
do herpes really smell.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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