I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
