This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
