I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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