the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
