i just had sex bonerless
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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