Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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