i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
