Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
