you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
