it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
All I want is dick and wine.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
