May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we made out on top of his cat.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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