The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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