I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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