I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
