no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
