your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
MIDGETS
????
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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