brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
