when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I understand Curling. That high.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
