Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
