Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
