how can u be prego again
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
