i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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