BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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