Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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