You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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